can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
