what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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