Porn is love you can see.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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