Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
