I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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