Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
im holly from the hills drunk
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
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where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
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He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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