yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize