FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
