I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
