I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize