Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize