Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
