college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
