I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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