forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
