I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
3pm strippers are depressing
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
