you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
