Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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