im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize