My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
