never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
