Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
