dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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