After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Oh god it's open bar.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
