You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
