Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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