so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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