hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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