D3 body, D1 cock
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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