i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
