Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
