Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
