Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
