Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
