Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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