I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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