you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
