Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm having to shit out rocks
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
