bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
