What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Randomize
