I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
