i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he was CRYING into my vagina
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
