you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
