I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
