he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
