i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She's the barista slut.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
