I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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