if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
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Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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