It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize