i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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