Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
