What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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