I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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