dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
